In the last 2 weeks we have been working on maintaining a positive attitude throughout the job search. I hope you have practiced the first 2 strategies:
- You have been telling yourself that you are excited instead of anxious.
- Asking yourself if a negative thought is useful.
This week we will add another strategy to your tool box.
Strategy 3: Distraction and Concentration.
To help you bounce out of negative emotions, do something that makes you happy and helps you change focus. As a mother, you have probably used distraction strategies with your kids. They are crying because they want a certain toy they can’t have, so you distract them using another toy or activity. As adults, we work the same way, though we often have to distract ourselves and can’t count on others to do it for us.
To distract yourself, it is helpful to be fully immersed in an activity that you enjoy. It may be reading a book, exercising, playing a computer game, listening to music you love, watching a good movie, or going out with friends.
When you are down, it is hard to think about what makes you happy. This week, I suggest that you sit down and make a list of the activities that make you happy. It is good to have the list handy so that you can turn to it when you need it.
Try to have different options, things to do alone or with friends, outdoor or indoor activities etc. Make it easy for yourself to create a distraction when you need one.
I know that for me, being outside is always a good start. Going for a walk with my dogs or a friend when one is available, kayaking or bike riding is always nice on a sunny day. On a rainy, or snowy New England day, a good book or a good movie works well for me. Cooking and baking can also be an escape for me, but too long in the kitchen and I get frustrated. In the last couple of years, I have also started knitting and crocheting again. I have not done it in years, but once I started again, I found it very relaxing and calming. I knit while watching TV or when I’m sitting in the car. On the days I need to be more engaged/distracted I concentrate on learning a new pattern.
It helps to have a good friend who knows what distractions help you stay positive. When you talk with them when you are down, they can suggest that you do one of the things on your list. The first time my friend told me “Miki, you need to start a new knitting project.”, I laughed in agreement. She was right.
Make a list of what distractions work for you. You now have 3 strategies to practice. Tune in next week for the 4th!
Miki Feldman Simon, Founder & CEO IamBackatWork