It is easy to feel deterred by the whole job search process. It is hard work, often involving many rejections, and takes time to see rewards.
To get through it without loosing confidence, you must learn how to overcome your negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are distracting, diminish one’s confidence, and often lead to lethargy and depression. Maintaining a positive attitude in the process will energize you and lead you to success.
First step, accept that it is natural to have negative thoughts.
Everyone has them. The question is how to deal with them. Do we let them take over and diminish our confidence and possibly debilitate us or do we overcome them. According to a Cleveland Study, the average person has 60,000 thoughts a day, 95% of which are negative. Our brain is designed to take in and register negative thoughts as these have been critical to our survival, registering danger from our surroundings.
Usually, when we try to suppress our thoughts it only makes us think about them more.
A great example of this is known as the White Bear Problem. It refers to the psychological process in which we make deliberate attempts to suppress certain thoughts, only to end up making them more likely to surface. It is based on a study by Wegner, Schneider, Carter, & White (1987).
Let’s do a little experiment:
Close your eyes. Imagine a white bear as vividly as you can.
Can you see its features?
Do you see its snow white fur?
Are its nostrils flaring?
Is it lying on an iceberg or is it in a zoo?
Now don’t think about the white bear. I want you to think about anything but the white bear. Try it for a few minutes…
Most people can’t help themselves, and continue to think of the white bear.
This is an example of how when we actively try not to think of something, like a white bear, we may actually be more likely to imagine one. Yes, this is why the advice of “don’t think about it” usually does not help. By trying not to think about it, suppressing thoughts, we keep going back to them.
How can we more effectively deal with negative thoughts?
Over the next 4 weeks, I will discuss four strategies to stay positive!
Here’s the first:
Strategy 1: Turn your Anxiety into Success
Are you nervous about giving a presentation, or walking into a room full of strangers? Tell yourself that you are excited instead of anxious. Studies have shown that just making this mental change can make you more successful.
In the article “Can Three Words Turn Anxiety Into Success?”, from The Atlantic, Olga Khazan explains that both excitement and anxiety, “are aroused emotions, in both, the heart beats faster, cortisol surges, and the body prepares for action.” In other words, both feelings are not so different on a physiological level, which may be why it’s easier to switch from one to the other. The difference is the interpretation we provide ourselves for those feelings. It also explains why just telling someone to keep calm does not work. The switch from a high arousal state, excitement or anxiety, to a comparatively lower arousal state of calmness is a very big change for someone to do in a short amount of time.
By telling yourself the three words: “I am excited”, you are able to get yourself out of a threatening mindset, thinking about all the things that could go wrong. By thinking these three words, you are able to shift into an opportunity mindset, thinking about all the good things that could happen if you did well.
Reframing anxiety as a positive emotion, excitement, helps you see the potentially uncertain future as something to look forward to. Try it.
Stay tuned for next week. I will introduce another strategy to maintain a positive attitude.
Miki Feldman Simon, Founder & CEO IamBackatWork